How to have a happy Second Life (an experts opinion)
OMG, My devious imagination has been running wild and I have been trying to decide what to write about first. When you have been behaving for a while, it’s hard to get back into the swing of things and I get all muddled up wondering what to talk about first. I mentioned in my last column that I had met a lot of new people and a few older ones. I am now quite an experienced SL resident and I have lots of fun things to show the quieter, less extrovert people who live on the grid. Can I label myself an expert? Oh yes, I think I have definitely earned my label. With that in mind,I decided to tell you all a few things you will need to know for your Second Life that they don’t tell you at Orientation Island. I will do this in instalments over the next few weeks and if I think of any others or hear or see people talk shit, you will be the first to know. My first topic would have to be privacy and spying on the Grid. I prefer the term ‘COVERT OPS’ as opposed to ‘STALKING’. Seriously, there is a difference.
Just so you all know (for those of you who aren’t already familiar with me) I regularly help people with delicate issues they have in their Second Lives. I do this quietly, privately, efficiently and all in the name of good clean fun. That is not an invite for people to offload their sl relationship problems onto me. SL Marriage guidance counsellor I ain’t! I am not a psychotherapist either and you probably won’t appreciate my bluntness. State your case, but remember my shoulder is a tear free zone.
Just last week, a lady who I didn’t know, IM’d me and asked me for help with a problem she was having. The problem had two legs and a penis and I know this because we laughed at the fact he had uploaded a picture of it for her. I declined the chance to see the picture because I am a firm believer in the fact that if you have seen one you have seen them all. Anyway, the lady was having an issue with the behaviour of the man; she said something just wasn’t right with the way he was behaving. Immediately I assumed there was another woman, but that wasn’t the problem. She told me that for some odd reason he just knew everything she done, where she went and who she spoke with. It was blowing her mind and she didn’t know how he was doing it. They had just become engaged and he had bought her a really nice ring and I told her to immediately bin it. I didn’t tell her to dump his stalking spying ass; I told her to TP over to the store he bought the ring and buy a new one. The new one wouldn’t have the spy device he had cunningly placed in it and her problems would be over. The lesson in this story is if you think a lover has bugged you, the most obvious thing to do would be to get rid of them, but I suggest you just don’t mention it, replace the ring and drive them insane. I mean, it’s not as if they are going to mention it! I would like to add before I move on to the next topic that using spy equipment is against the Linden Lab Terms of Service.
My next topic would be the copy and pasting of conversations. EVERYBODY does it at some point in their SL day, whether it be because someone has said something hysterically funny and you want to show others, or because someone was being a complete wanker and you want to show others how hysterically funny it is. The copy and pasting of convos, WITHIN the second life game, WITHOUT the consent of another is a big no no. I have noticed some people write a kind of warning on their profiles saying they will be doing it should it be needed to be used against me. This type of warning is ok if you have a business in SL and you might need to file an AR or a DMCA on someone, but random avatars listen up. You aren’t allowed to do it, so you can’t show your friends, no matter what type of disclaimer you have added to your crappy self characterization. Should you still feel the need to have to do it, here is my expert advice. NEWSFLASH! Take a screenshot of the convo, copy and paste is soooo 2007.
Meeting new people and having fun is what SL is all about. It is not about forgetting about real life and coming on here and annoying the hell out of the normal funny people because you are sad that you haven’t achieved anything in the real word. Some of us really don’t give a damn, so don’t try to impress our pixels unless whatever it is you do you can insert a ‘LOL’ at the end of your sentences or you don’t mind us putting one at the end of ours when we talk about you being famous in this site. Men must always keep in mind that most of the women in SL are actually men and use voice changing software as well.
It would help immensely if LL would issue at statement at Help Island for new avatars not to accept the offer of free clothing or skins especially those made at Damiani. My friend Pompeja who owns Damiani, is having a hard time filing AR’S every time she sees someone wearing one. Skins aren’t free and they are usually NO TRANSFER. The same goes for hair and shoes. What many people fail to realise is that someone spent a lot of time making the FREE stuff you will be offered. SURPRISE! Some of it isn't FREE, it’s STOLEN, so help us all out on our war against content theft and copybotting and decline the stolen freebies. For experts like us, it’s easy to spot someone dripping in stolen stuff. Anti inspect make me want to inspect you and shields don’t work with us, sorry. Rawly, I know can crack an anti inspect sheild in 3 seconds.
Gesture playing within SL is always fun for new people and I am brill friends with Blazin Aubret who is the purveyor of most of the funny Gestures you hear but don’t know where to get them. Follow this SLurl below to get all your Gestures and then you can annoy people in the clubs of SL. Even if you an old sl person TP over and to say Hi to Blazin, she’s very funny and is older than any sl person I know. She rezzed in 2005!!!!!
http://slurl.com/secondlife/Muism/139/70/26
Before I go I’d like to offer a bit of extra special advice. It’s especially for people who are easily drove insane and perhaps have been savvy enough to learn that you can have your offline messages sent to an email address, so you can read them on a phone. DON’T CLICK ANYTHING THAT SAYS SUB-SCRIBO-MATIC or HIPPO THINGY. If you are like me you will be driven insane with the messages and if you’re blonde you will forget where you joined and won’t have a LM to get back to click the board to get out of this contract you didn’t realise you signed up to. OOOP's Blazin has one, but its ok to join hers cause she gives ya free funny stuff.
Ok I’m off now, but stay posted because I have had a few hundred requests in the last week from people asking where we get all our fun huds and tricks, so I’ll be posting a report on the best of the best very soon.
Lots of Love
Natalie xx
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