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Sunday, 7 June 2009
FANNY FERRYHILL


DEAR FANNY-HELP FROM THE HEART

Dear Fanny
Im despreately in need of your help you see im in love with a woman but she dont love me we met on a lonely drunken night when i stumbles at her feet and when we caught eyes my heart skipped a beat and i knew we was ment to bei carnt stop thinking of her pale skin, her brown rim,,, ooo i could just marry her here and then... but alas she is only a toilet..please help i dont think il find anyone as good as swallowing as her
Dear Toilet Lover,
First of all? Punctuation is important. Learn some. Second of all, you may find that after you learn basic gramatical skills you'll be more inclined to try people! Please take that plunge. Otherwise it might be too crappy a finish and you'd end up feeling wiped and pooped out.

From the throne of Fanny.
Dear Fanny,

I once was in love in SL and now I am no longer. With wrinkles setting in, my tits beginning to sag and my avi looking older everyday I just don't know what to do to find that 'one'.
I used to have it all going for me, with my Lambhorgini Diablo, men dropping to their pixelated knees. Then one night.....fuelled with Jack Daniels that made me see pink elephants and over zealous for avatar positioning......I found myself in a back alley with a furry.....very out of character for me you understand.
Since that woeful night I have been distraught, cast off and dirty....struck with furrymydia and avorrhea (more commonly known as SL's versions of chlamydia and gonorrhea). Woe Bedite me!!!!
The back street doc says I will never give birth and soon i will have crustations to be found in nether regions.
I long to be beautiful and desirable once more, free from poseball transmitted infections.
Please help
Forever indebted

Dear Debt,

ARE YOU ON CRACK, HO?
Click edit appearance, and LIFT yer ass up.
Anyone who ends up in a dark ally with a furry should ask themselves two questions:
1. Why am I not playing world of warcraft?2. Why am I seeing a doctor in Second Life?
Let me restate my origional question: ARE YOU ON CRACK, HO?
Listen....get your silly ass to a skin store and uplift yourself. Everyone is beautiful in SL. It's the law. Fat ugly people are not allowed. They're Lindens. And Lindens are allowed purely because they know how things work. And noobs. Noobs are ugly purley because their new. Eventually a pervert finds them, gets them to buy skin to look hot, fucks them, and leaves them looking....well deflowerd noob. You know the look: solid muscle in the arms size of thighs, thighs the size of elephant ankles, t-shirts with cheesy gay sayings like "my other alt is a bottom", and big shoes with holes in them cause no noob gets feet right.
HONEY you could have shit 100 times worse. Shut yer pie hole n' go spend some lindens. Better yet, get some furry's to spend some lindens on you! If they don't....well.....
They're furrys. They're like noobs but....furry.
*shudder*
I blew a furry once. It was the only time I swallowed a hair ball.

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