*I can't go to work today, because I was painting my house and I drooped paint on the floor and have to put in a new carpet
*I'm sorry, i couldn't bring my work in on a floppy disk, i got pissed up and jammed the disk drive by seeing how many m & ms i could fit in
*My arm is too tired to shift, so I can't drive to work today
*I don't think I'll be able to come into work today, As i was walking home from work yesterday a wheel came off a passing caravan and hit me in the back. I'm bed-bound and can't move.
*I can't come into work today, I'm dead.
*"Oh, you mean it's Next' Wednesday I have off!!" (Note: must be said with an incredulous expression)
*"I was up until 3:00 am working on a procedure that would simultaneously increase production & efficiency, and also reduce expenses. I'd rather not discuss it until I have all the kinks worked out." (this gives you a little time to come up with some more BS)
*"My dog chewed up my shoes and I couldn't very well come to work barefooted, could I!? (use this better in the winter)"
*I won't be in to work today. My wife said she is going to conceive today, and I want to be there when it happens.
*"I cant come to work today because my cat is lonely and stressed out and if I don't spend quality time with him, he will keep peeing on the furniture!"
*I can't come into work today. There is a cat sitting on the fence outside more door and he won't let me out. It looks like he will attack me if I go outside!
*I'm not coming to work today..... "why not?" ....... because ..... I'm not
Labels: lifestyles, news
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