Its seems the residents of sl are getting just a bit pissed off with the amount of reading material circulating the grid. People are starting to say “Do we need another inworld magazine filled with the same type of shit?”. It’s not just that we have way too many, but there always seems to be a huge amount of bitchy two faced drama surrounding them.

The in world magazine business is more dramatic than one of my weddings. Today I thought id give you all a step by step guide to starting an inworld magazine, although please dont.

Life at the magazine empires always starts of brilliant around the board table with everyone meeting and greeting. None knows what they are going to write about or who’s going to write it, but hey, who cares cause no one’s going to actually read it.

Everyone wants to be the boss or they are planning from this very first magazine planning rendezvous how they are going to steal the ideas and make their own magazine.

Every woman in bitching in IM about the woman next to her. The woman she is bitching to has just sent a copy and paste of the convo to all the other women at the table.(Then someone has sent it to me, with a “LOL read this shit” heading)

Someone at the table will be skilled at Photoshop, is probably unemployed in rl and has plenty of time. They will be nominated to make the fancy smancy cover. (The cover if the most important bit btw) A showy cover will give you a rough idea of whose tongue is up whose ass at the time of publication.

The next totally pointless task on the list for starting an in world mag has to be the buying of A FULL PRIM SIM and give it the same name of the magazine. I don’t know much about sims. I don’t know, maybe they made new ones that will write articles, but I can’t see it. Anyway, this sim purchase is usually done before one word has been typed in an article. Then a fancy office is built and shops- Zomg, don’t forget about the shops, they are sooo important.

Someone is given the job of going out to find people to fill the shops. Let me just slip in here that we are still talking about a magazine. Not one word has been printed, the cover hasn’t been made yet and no one knows who or what they are going to actually fill the magazine pages with. Just don’t forget about filling the shops cause the sim tier will have to be paid.

This is the bit that cracks me up. To fill the shops they tell people that the magazine has like 3k readers or something totally stupid. Yet not one word has been printed, and the cover is still being made based on who is BFF that week.

Most designers don’t fall for that bullshit though and they won’t pay to rent a shop. In a panic and to save face,the stores are given away for free.

Someone else now has the cringe worthy job of finding another way to pay the sim tiers. The tried and tested method is to use fifteen of the twenty pages in the magazine to put advertisements on. Charge ridiculous money for the ads and there you go, sim tier paid.Either way people dont get a free shop.

Ok, now there is still the other small overlooked detail of what to put on the other whopping five pages. This is where minds get blown and it’s back to the board table, in the fancy office building on the new sim, with all the other two- faced bastards you are supposed to be working with. The bitching starts all over again because by now there is like 20 people working for the magazine and none knows what anyones doing, everyone wants to be the CEO but still not one word has been written. Come to think about it, no one has really done any work because there isn’t a magazine yet . There is a prim book, with a fancy cover and fifteen pages of advertisements.

If all goes to plan at this meeting some genius will come up with a fabulous plan. They all agree to use two of the five pages left to squeeze in a couple more adverts (to get more money) and then find some “famous” person to ask ten boring questions like “what did you have for rl breakfast this morning?”Or “what do you call you rl dog?” They will make the font big so it takes up 2 pages. Oh yeah and of course a picture of the “famous” person will be emblazoned across the front. The last page they just make blurry so you will think it hasn’t rezzed and just close the magazine.

If that isn’t tacky enough you could always top it off with a tacky pay to vote contest and just lower the tone of your whole magazine. I saw one of the magazines planning this a while back but obviously someone with a brain stepped in and pulled the plug on that bright Idea.

I know I am blonde and some assume I am a bit dumb, but wouldnt it make more sense just to make people pay for the magazine? Has no one thought of this? Most spend a fortune having the little vendor boxes made, surely you just put a script in to make people pay for the god damn magazine. But we all know this wouldn't be a money spinner because no one is going to pay to read two pages of crap about someone and look at a zillion pages of adverts. I am guessing someone did think of this before me.

There you have it, one in world magazine epire. Of course there is always the inevitable ending of the magazine. This is when everyone starts ripping the hair out of each other in the virtual board room and the magazine goes in the bin or someone f***s off with the money.

I am not saying that all magazines are like this, but 80% are. Some serve a purpose and its the bad ones that give the good sl journalists and magazine owners a bad name. What totally cracks us up is that it always seems to be the same train- wreck avatars running the show or they are involved somewhere. We just sit back and watch the fireworks from the sidelines and then watch the whole process start all over again.

I get sent loads of magazines. Usually because there is something in them that I should see or notice because it’s scandalous, but then I end up all exhausted because I get bored waiting for it to rez.